Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Behind The Scenes


     I was never the kid in school who was the most talented artist. You know, the one who was just  AMAZING and everything they drew or painted was just perfect and they made it look effortless. Not me. But I so wanted to be.
     When my first son was born my husband and I decided I would not go back to work. This was a leap of faith because my husband was still in school and working full time, I was working full time too. Once I quit we would take a significant loss in our income. But it's a decision I have never looked back on. I have felt so strongly from the beginning that I needed to be home with my kids. And there's no where else I'd rather be :) Challenging yes, but joyful too.
     Once my son was sleeping through the night I found myself with a lot of free time on my hands (he was a good little sleeper). My husband had a lot of night classes and was studying and working when he wasn't in class. It was then that I decided to teach myself to be the best artist I could be. I went to every library that was nearby and checked out all the art books that I could. And then I went home and practiced every minute that my son was asleep. I wanted to be an artist so bad. More than anything. I had all these visions in my head for paintings I wanted to do and they never quite turned out how I wanted them too (I still have my own horrific first attempt at a portrait). But I didn't quit, I kept trying. And then gradually I began to see that I was making improvement. Slowly, but I was getting better.
     Now I look back on that and I'm greatful for those awful paintings. Because they taught me so much. And with each one finished I had this strong desire to get back in there and try again. I had faith in myself. I believed. I think somewhere since then I've lost that. But I'm going to try and get it back. I still don't give up, I keep pushing along. I guess in a way that's proof that I do believe in myself. Does this post make any sense at all?
    Anyway, I have a new project started. It's a portrait of my baby, I haven't quite captured him the way I want to yet, so I'm hoping this one does. I'm working out the drawing right now, I should have the first washes on it tomorrow. It's always exciting to start a new project :) I also included a few photos of my palette and the brushes I use, because I think it's interesting to get a little glimpse behind the scenes of other artists (I was really tempted to clean up my palette before I took a picture of it, but I restrained myself, this is how it looks when I'm working). The little Spongebob sticker is one my son gave to me, I have it taped to my drafting table. He stuck Spongebob's hand on Gary, so it looked like he was petting him. They were originally two seperate stickers. He was so proud of his little creation. I taped it there to remind me of a lot of things. His belief in his self, his love for me, his simple joy in making something that wasn't there before. It's funny how when we're little we want to grow up RIGHT NOW, and then when we're a grown up we try to recapture that childlike faith and optimism. I don't know how great I am at teaching my kids what they need to know, but I sure learn a lot from them. 

                                   


                                   

14 comments:

  1. I have faith in you, Crystal. I want to hear you say, "I'm awesome, everybody! You hear that? I'M AWESOME!" You need a little swagger, girl. Humility is a wonderful attribute, but you have every right to feel self-confident. You have talent in spades. And remember, natural ability always takes a back seat to work ethic and desire.

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  2. How cute, thank you for sharing all of this. How inspriing! I am still working on my "baby" and after 8 days of not being able to work on my WIP I get to this evening! It's like I have so many ideas flowing in my head they are just waiting to bust out!

    Enjoy your time while the little one sleeps! Sounds like you make good use of it!

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  3. What a great story. Thanks for sharing it with us. Inspiration and faith are beautiful things.

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  4. I AM AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

    Was that good Roxy? ;) Thanks for having faith in me. You're the best!

    Jen, good luck with the WIP! I know it will be wonderful!

    Sarah, thanks :) So glad you stopped by and found my ramblings of interest :) I love your blog by the way.

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  5. You are such a talented artist and mother. I find myself thinking just as you do as I read your posts. It is always a little more inspiring than the last one. I love to go through all your journeys with you. Love you tons sis!!!!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!! There is not another like you in the whole wide world and for this I am thankful. :)

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  6. You were right. We do have a lot in common. And I was never the best artist either in the one art class I took in High School. It all sounds so familiar. Thanks for sharing and finding me! I look forward to reading and seeing more of you!

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  7. Jenny Lee,
    you are the best sister. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving your comments, every time I read them it makes my heart happy :) thanks, really it means a lot to me. I love to go through all your journeys with you too, I want to see some more photos, I think you should start a photo of the day, wouldn't that be fun to see? I would love it. I am so thankful for you love you!

    Elizabeth, so glad you stopped by! It's great to find another mom artist! I look forward to seeing your work too :)

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  8. I so identify with your post. I am a stay at home Mom with 2 boys. I have started doing a painting a week to try to see what potential I have. I'm so happy to hear that practicing has helped you so much. I think your work is breathtaking. I hope to paint as well as you some day. I get frustrated but I just keep painting. Thank you for your honest words:)

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  9. Thanks Bri, I'm so glad that what I said helped. I really believe that art can be taught. It's not all natural. Thank you so much for the kind words about my paintings. That really means a lot to me:) I still get frustrated too, but what you said is key just keep painting. Thanks so much for visiting. I visited your blog and really think you have A LOT of talent. Your work is beautiful! But I know, it's hard to see it when it's your hand that created it.

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  10. Sorry, I called you Bri, I just saw on your blog your name is Callie, woops! Call it a blonde moment ;) No offense to the blondes, I am one!

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  12. hi crystal ...as a mum of two who loves paints this really is such a wonderful post to read ...so glad to have found your blog your work is stunning !

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  13. Hi Crystal, there is so much inspiration and energy here for me in your story. I am thrilled that I found my way to your site and art. Love and Blessings

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Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment they really do mean so much to me! Because not all bloggers have their email enabled so I can reply directly through email I will try to reply here in the comments. If I don't please forgive me, life must have been hectic that day! :)) Huzzah!!

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